9.07.2010

How Do You Define Exclusivity?

Does being exclusive mean discontinuing established platonic relationships? Is it wise to cut others out of your world to pour time, energy and focus into one person? Or is it a recipe for failure? Have you ever taken this route only to discover your platonic friends provided you with a more fulfilling connection than your new significant other? Hmmm....

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9 points of view:

  2. Interesting question Miss Curvy. I think you and I have discussed something like this in the past (@ a blog), and I think we agreed that it's a slippery slope.

    Well, an emotional attachment with someone other than the S.O, can be very fulfilling.

    I have to raise my hand and say I have female friends that give me "things" other than a kiss or a hug, or material gifts. I call one women my intellectual stimulant. She gives me a type of conversation that I may not receive from my significant other. Other female friends give me a vehicle to express my love of art or movies. And in such, I respect their opinions because we are in the same place in that arena.

    I also have female friends that I visit when I am away from home. I look forward to that, not solely because they are women, but because we can have a visit without life's distractions that can occur at home. It's more like "Hi ya doing, lets have some fun".

    So Miss Curvy, going into a new relationship (have not had to do that much) I tell a woman that I have friends, so if that's going to be a problem, speak now or forever hold your peace. But yes, it can present a problem. There's always a risk that the friend-friend becomes more exciting than the significant other.
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  3. I think that exclusivity is appropriate with the right person. It would suck being exclusive to someone who isn't worth it. Great topic :)
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  4. Hey Curvy!
    Being exclusive applies only to Romantic relationships that include SEX! Friends is friends (No Sex) and all others need to be discussed. Relationships with potential on the back burner. (This can include those on the friend list) No, exclusive means with that one person! It can be hard but worth it!
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  5. I've distanced myself from my rfiends before when I was in an abusive relationship, because I simply felt ashammed and depressed.
    But in almost all my other relationships I pretty much maintain a balance.
    and especially now that I'molder and know more ppl I simply will not be able to narrow my social circle to one person...being anti-social is not love.
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  6. I really think that it is wrong to exclude yourself from friends, both male or female just because you are in a relationship. A relationship is born between you and that special person, but you are still an individual and you still have likes outside of that relationship. The best that could happen is that you two learn to merge in time your friends and relatives too! Not so much as too cause a shift, but just enough that you can both feel comfortable with each other having other interests and friends.
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  7. I would hope exclusivity does not equal cutting out platonic friends. Platonic friends give me some stimulation the boy can't... and visa versa ;-) if your boy demands you cut these people out.. i think that is a big red warning sign... of jealousy and control issues to come. hang on to those friends.. they'll be there if there comes a time when the boy is not.
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  8. I wish someone would expect me to cut off my ties with friends. I think at times the desire to lay 100% claim to your significant other results in over stepping the realistic line that life existed before this relationship and will continue in spite of it.

    To be exclusive to me is the shutting down of sexual, intimate communications and interactions with people of the opposite sex. And even that depends case by case person by person.
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  9. In the past I had to give up my friends for this guy but he wasn't really worth it. Sadly, neither were the friends who I was hanging out back then. But all is well now. It's not worth giving up real close gems of friends but then there must be a line that shouldn't be crossed, I suppose, so that the significnt other doesn't get alarmed.
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