8.26.2010

When Do Emotions Become TMI?

Just wondering...

At what point, if ever, are you totally comfortable allowing the full expression of your emotions (the ups, downs and lulls) to flow when have "love" for a friend of the opposite sex but are not in a relationship? Does it depend on the person? Your own comfort level with expressing emotions? Do you refrain thinking it could tarnish the person's impression of you to expose the nitty gritty?

Talk to me....

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

11 points of view:

  1. For me it has to do with the person and my comfort level with them and how safe I feel emotionally with them. The more casual the relationship, the more unlikely I will just put myself out there and reveal the nitty gritty stuff.

    It's kind of a give and take too, the more they let me in the more I will invest of myself.
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  2. Hey Kandia! I'm the same way on this point "the more they let me in the more I will invest of myself".
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  3. Wow. This is so close to home. I always thought I expressed my love so openly and freely. But I realize now that I don't. I am finding it extremely scary to even think of expressing such strong feelings without knowing 100% that it is mutual. I need to know that person is feeling something remotely close before I will be able to finally say what I'm feeling.
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  4. your curiosity has revealed something about me i never really thought about until you asked. i can't really think of anyone i'm comfortable enough to bare "all" to. there are parts of me and my thought processes that i can't share with anyone.

    the level of emotion i reveal depends on the context of the relationship i have with a particular individual.

    my mother - more honest with her than anyone. BUT still can't share everything.

    my mate - more honest than with my mother (intimacy has it's advantages) BUT still can't share everything

    my "true" friend - more honest than with my mother or mate BUT still can't share everything.

    my thoughts - pure naked unwavering emotional snowball. perhaps it's all the internalizes, reflection, dreams, hopes and desires that play out in my head at any given moment.
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  5. Let me sing a little Lauryn for you here: "Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity..."
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  6. I'm as open as they are in the beginning. That comfort means a lot. If a person wins my confidence, I'll lay it all out there. It's a feeling...
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  7. You know...I think it's a dice roll. You try to be guarded to protect yourself. It may sound messed up to say this, but if it benefits you to reveal yourself then go for it. I wouldn't lay myself out there if it wouldn't give myself some type of gain. And when I say gain that could be as simple as relief for getting it off my chest or whatever I MAY THINK I NEED FROM SPEAKING MY MIND. I say this because I guess of my need to protect myself (again) if the person may not respond like I would hope they would. :)

    When I saw your question I thought about these Jill Scott lyrics:

    The rain was fallin and,and slowly and sweetly and stinging my eyes
    And I could not see that he became my voodoo priest
    And I was his faithful concubine
    Wide open,wide,loose like bowels after collard greens
    The mistake was made
    Love slipped from my lips
    Dripped down my chin and landed in his lap
    And us became new

    And there it is right there. So again, it's a dice roll. Take the risk if you dare! LOL.
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  8. I thought I'd sit back on this one to see what the ladies had to say. Well, I think I am in the minority. First of all, without lies there's little drama.

    "what do you mean CareyCarey"

    Well, no one can hurt me based solely on my words. If I am expressing my feeling for someone, or about a situation, and they are not based on selfish recepications (and they are honest)I shouldn't fear any response. Should I be afraid that the other person will not agree with me, or not return my favor? If so, I have to dig deep (inside myself) to find out why. No lies... no drama. I am the gatekeeper to my emotions.
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  9. I think I'd tilt towards carey's response..
    I just told a friend whom I'm not in a relationship with how I feel and I'm not worried about how he'd handle it because I believe he's mature and I don't feel awkward about my feelings..It isn't in every circumstance that you should except or wait for a guy to tell you how he feels before you do..
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  10. Hey Gurl, you know i can swear that i responded to this, but when i looked to see my response today, it wasn't there. I am such an emotional person and probably (well no probably) share more on my blog than i do with anyone in my life. I shelter my family from my pain, the same for my kids in most part. I've learned not to share too much with friends because they react, and at times resent, so i share only what i want them to react to. Is it ever too much, no i don't think so. It's whatever you feel comfortable with.
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  11. @DaBossBitch ~ I hear ya. That's something I'm learning about myself also.

    @Roschelle ~ It's interesting how varied relationships are and how they determine the level of comfort with sharing.

    @Felicia Monique ~ Hadn't thought about it until you mentioned it...this is easily my personal tagline. I find myself pondering it often.

    @Kiwi ~ Yep, intuition is a useful guide.

    @Eyes on the Prize ~ Very true. I did that once and learned it didn't turn out the way I thought it would so the value/gain wasn't easily measured ahead of time. *sigh*

    @Carey ~ "I am the gatekeeper to my emotions"...this speaks volumes! Personally, I'm learning this through each experience. I think the "chin up, don't let 'em see you sweat" mechanism men are taught/learn over the years is valuable.

    @2cute4u ~ Makes perfect sense.

    @Miz ~ Sorry about that, you know how Blogger trips sometimes :-). I'm the same way. The funny thing is that while no one is required to agree with us, the feedback with get from blogging often opens my eyes to fresh perspectives on things I only viewed in black and white before posting.
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