8.11.2010

The Waiting Room

Photo credit: lambertwm
I’m amazed how downright stubborn I can be. At times this can be a challenge, but lately I’m finding it useful. Specifically when it involves what I desire for my life, how something aligns with my intentions and whether the risk is worth the reward. This doesn't diminish my capacity to be understanding, caring or loving. It actually serves a purpose, one that acts as a buffer for weeding out what's not in my best interest.

Hindsight can be a bitch especially when you realize there were times you overlooked the obvious in hopes of everything aligning perfectly and never even causing you to look back in the first place. My patience has been continually tested and my heart's empty light has been lit a fiery red for countless months, yet it just reinforces the fact that I’m resilient even when faced with less than ideal circumstances.

I’ve learned to do without love for so long that any inkling of less than one's full effort mixed with ambiguity is a quick left to an emotional pit stop. This isn't such a bad thing because it allows me to see the whole picture, but it can be draining and disappointing. Truth is, I’m too old to compromise on some things and if it means doing without for a little while longer then it's something I'll do.

11 points of view:

  1. Gurl, i am certainly feeling this.I no longer feel the need to compromise, no matter how lonely it gets. As my girl used sing "If it don't fit, don't force it." My best to you sis!
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  2. When reading between the lines, one might get the impression that you are being cold & unyielding... but I KNOW better. Methinks a series of disappointments can bring about the most bitter of Wisdoms, the most Transcendent of Truths & the most careful intentions, even in a once wild heart.

    Damn! Did I just come deep, or what?


    SJ, my Sista!


    One.
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  3. Love this post. It's refreshing to hear a woman say that she won't just settle. Some women tend to push that panic button once they reach a certain age. You'll be fine, Curvy. I know this!
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  4. @Miz ~ I hear ya. I'm finding the less you demand the more likely you'll get just that....lol

    @Lin ~ Dang it! You pulled my card. I started to write about my abillity to be indifferent, but it took your pointing it out to realize that's exactaly what it is...cold. Yep, you got deep on me but I totally agree and couldn't have said it better.

    @12kyle ~ I give a lot, so it's disheartening when I don't get it in return. Maybe not the panic button but the reset button would be quite handy right about now...lol
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  5. This feels like you were speaking for me..
    So deep..
    Your post.. touched me..
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  6. @2cute ~ Glad you liked. I think a great deal of us are hanging in there for various reasons, the most important among them are love, respect and reassurance it's all right -).
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  7. What is your Facebook handle?
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  8. It's not even about waiting...but more of "doing you" until the right person, situation, or circumstance flows into 'your' life. In the meantime, shine!
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  9. @Kofi ~ Where ya been, man? I'll email you.

    @Felicia ~ Gosh, hadn't even thought about that, you're so right. "Waiting" relinquishes our personal power, something we should never do.
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  10. This is certainly my take as well Mel. I can't be bothered with promises of it being worth the wait. Why wait? I'm not in HS...and the men I've let in my heart weren't either...so why the duck and dodge? No more. I'm paying attention to signs and I'm posting a few of my own in the process.

    This is totally understandable. I fully believe the man God has promised for me isn't going to half-ass his efforts. He's gonna show up...BIG time. ((HUGS)) for knowing that the waiting room is a nice place to relax, meditate and enjoy yourself. ;)
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  11. We should all be at least a little stubborn when it comes to the things that we hold near and dear. That's only because those things are so important to us and we always think that we know best........what's wrong with that?!?
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Do tell!

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