Nature never repeats herself and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.
~ Elizabeth Cady Staton
I’ve never been one who found much enjoyment in competition. If someone wants to win that bad they can have whatever it is. This includes material things, men, recognition, etc. Don't get me wrong, I like to win but if I don't it won't damper my spirits.
Recently, a family member had what I’ll call a “rift with mean girls”. You know the type, those who don't know anything about you but find something to dislike and shun you for. I’ve been there a few times and what I’ve learned is that usually accompanies some type of insecurity. The other person obviously notices something in you that they aspire to be, want to obtain, etc. Instead of embracing others they enjoy making you feel shunned. How small minded and petty. Some folks spend a lifetime envying others, which serves absolutely no purpose in my opinion.
Needless to say, when I first heard about what was taking place, my response wasn't full of wisdom and perspective…I was ticked. If you don't like my shine, don't be in my shadow is what I figure. I have more thoughts on this issue, so I’ll probably update this, but what do you think?
It is my opinion that those who do not love themselves find it very hard to love others. Conversely, those who love themselves always find someway to love others. Those who think of themselves as beautiful always manage to see the beauty of others.
ReplyDeleteBut I find believe that you are correct in stating that usually rifts or petty jealousies are caused by people seeing what they desire to be in others, but instead of them being able to articulate that admiration, they instead express that admiration through hate.
But love and hate are the flip side of the same emotion, and as such, they are one in the same.
"Some folks spend a lifetime envying others ..."
ReplyDeleteEnvy occurs within a person when they specifically lack another person's talents, property and/or advantages and specifically desires them for themselves, so much so that they will wish ill will on the person and in some cases verbally or physically harm the person.
"... which serves absolutely no purpose in my opinion."
Indeed.
I do come across such people as friends,colleagues or just plain rivals.I don't let anyone trivalise my hopes beliefs,ambitions and anything else I have going on in my life.. Its so typical with life that not everyone including your friends and family will always be happy with you.Always a little jealousy somewhere.Nice post.
ReplyDeleteWould you like to have a banner of WE ARE JOS on your site..Will be so nice of you.If yes,please visit http://helpnigeria.blogspot.com
Thank you..
www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com
I find that this type of behavior happens more than I would expect. Sometimes the petty jealousy just comes out on no where totally unexpected. I'm learning to blow it off as best I can. Sometimes it's hard when the petty behavior is coming from people that I thought had my back.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally true..Play haters!Love your blog!Be back for more readings..Hope you don't mind my following you?
ReplyDeleteHello Miss Curvy,
ReplyDeleteI will not be presumptuous enough to say why people do what they do. It's safe to say we all do things that others may not like. Consequently, they may err by telling us (me,you,whomever) why we did such. I tend to seek first to understand (using my own selfish behavior of jealosy,petty envy, or dislike of another) to see how I can improve my own character flaws.
In the end, and for the most part, I do not care what another person thinks of me, I really don't. Why should I? In conclusion, I really don't know why a fool exhibits foolish behavior. I do have a reference, and that's me.
Let those cast the first stone....
Well Curvy, this is all a part of human behavior. Like one other person said best, the opposite of love is hate. I remember back in the day growing up, there were people who were jealous of me, and I didn't even know it until someone else brought it to my attention. The only reason why I didn't know, is mainly because I wasn't worrying about what everyone else was doing. Your relative has to understand when she has bigger fish to fry and better things to do, someone else's jealousy and envy wouldn't even matter in the slightest to her. When someone else is jealous, that means you are doing something right. So to Curvy's relative: CONTINUE TO DO YOU ENTIRELY! Don't let the insecurities of one or more people deter or stop you from being your best.
ReplyDeleteI have no room in my life to be worried about "haters"
ReplyDeleteI can't stand when people say haters are their motivators. Why do we give folks that kind of power? Motivate yourself... that's what you were doing anyway.
What does sting, though, is when it comes from people close to you. I know it's hard to see other people excel and feeling like you oughta have that too, but don't take away from me to make up for what you think you lack. There are some people in my life I just can't share good news with for that very reason.
By the same token, I cherish people who root for me and have warm words when I do accomplish something. Why don't we spend more time focused on those people?
Hopefully it doesn't escalate and they try to lay their hands on her.
ReplyDeleteI'm like you Curvy, I don't like to compete or fight..but if if someone steps on my toes its hard to say what will go down.
ReplyDeleteEspecially if I see someone being targeted who is helpless or innocent. I hate to sit and watch while someone is being terrorized.
But the best thing you could do is help your family member help theirself.
Coach them on how to deal with the situation and most importantly encourage them to SPEAK UP and OUT.
Bullying is tough, usually no real action takes place until someone gets their ass beat or killed but with enough perseverance, one can change that.
I have to say i have never been envious of another. I think i was too busy working on myself, my life's dreams, etc...but i have felt the sting of jealousy at a young age an even later. In fact, i can say that this was my life for most of my teenage years, but what i have was a great support system in my family, and mom's didn't hold back the tongue at all. Although it is the most difficult task to ignore these individuals, and not want to kill them, my mom always reminded me of who i was, and the future that lies ahead. She didn't encourage me to fight, but she did say "not to let anyone walk over me and to stand up when i needed." And so i did, of course that came with some consequences, lol i couldn't win every fight, but then again they didn't bother me anymore and i let them know i wasn't no pushover.
ReplyDelete"If you don't like my shine, don't be in my shadow." Girrrrl, you have a way with words. I'll have to use this phrase if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteGlad I dropped by!
just visited your blog, please would you want to visit my blog again, I hope my blog will give you a new information, thank you
ReplyDeleteIt's just immaturity. Secure adults don't have time or the desire to worry about what someone else has or to be envious to the point of disrespect. It amazes me when I see it happening today ..it's very childish. It just shows that no matter where some people have in life the either always want to be on top or the grass is greener.
ReplyDeleteI cannot be bothered with competition like that either...it is childish, i love your attitude though "If you don't like my shine, don't be in my shadow." wooooo I need to save that one.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. As I get older, however, I find I have less and less time and patience for this type of person, unless the hatred is directed at someone I love. Then, I go ballistic.
ReplyDeleteWhy do they have to be like this? I mean,they can never be always ahead of someone, along the way they will meet people better than they are, prettier than they are or richer than they are..
ReplyDeleteI tend to agree with you.
ReplyDeleteThe remedy for a nasty attitude is a good ass whipping, other wise it will just escalate. Just ask that high school girl that offed her self because of bullies...oh thats right.....you cant ask her.
ReplyDeleteUg I hate people like that! Women like that just don't know how to be happy for other people. When they hate you they are probably just jealous. I find that often. i have my own dating blog www.carlysdatingchronicles.com and a lot of my friends aren't happy for me. I find that fat, ugly women write really rude comments - when really they are just jealous!
ReplyDelete