As the truism goes, there is nothing new under the sun. Good, bad, you name it. It’s extremely easy to think we’re the only one experiencing setbacks, letdowns or disappointment. In reality, I can’t think of one time I’ve thought this only to realize that someone I know could relate. This includes positive things as well as life-changing incidents that seemed insurmountable but loomed larger than they actually were.
A few days ago I ran across, Cleavage, a candid, engaging blog written by Kelly Diels. In “Violence. The Dark Side of Love and Sex” Kelly shares an extremely personal experience, one I can relate to.
A few days ago I ran across, Cleavage, a candid, engaging blog written by Kelly Diels. In “Violence. The Dark Side of Love and Sex” Kelly shares an extremely personal experience, one I can relate to.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
~ Ecclesiastes 1:9
As though I stepped in some crazy time machine, my thoughts were transported back some 20+ years. To a time when I experienced the same reaction of a young girl who did not know why she was molested, but decided it was best to bury the memory so deep that I “forgot” about the incident. Oddly, I didn’t think about it until we discovered the same thing happened repeatedly to a family member.
The fact that I didn’t think about it all those years does not mean it had no on impact my life. While a weight was lifted from my bruised soul, the revelation also opened the door to some issues I hadn’t addressed over the years. Things started to make sense, but at the same time plunged me into a deep depression.
Hidden in my psyche were the remains of an innocent, sassy, outgoing little girl whose whole persona was altered by someone who was not only a “trusted” family member but…had my parents died before I was grown, could have possibly been one of my guardians. {Ain’t that some ish?]
By the grace of God, it never came to that, but the years of avoiding any contact with him at family functions was terrifying to say the least. Somehow I had settled within myself that I would be able to keep myself from being a target by staying aware of every move he made while I was around. Making no room to be alone with him and dodging the obligatory creepy hugs were exhausting, but the only way I knew to maintain safety.
I never told my parents. To be honest, I never remember thinking about telling them. The whole situation left me confused…tainted in a way. As strange as it may sound, I can’t remember ever feeling hate towards him. I think it was due to my age, that emotion was foreign to me at the time. He went to his grave never admitting any of the incidents, so needless to say an apology wasn’t uttered either. So be it.
Kelly made me feel safe sharing this with you, fam. May you never have a day when you feel no one understands…you’re NEVER alone or the only one. Much love!
The fact that I didn’t think about it all those years does not mean it had no on impact my life. While a weight was lifted from my bruised soul, the revelation also opened the door to some issues I hadn’t addressed over the years. Things started to make sense, but at the same time plunged me into a deep depression.
Hidden in my psyche were the remains of an innocent, sassy, outgoing little girl whose whole persona was altered by someone who was not only a “trusted” family member but…had my parents died before I was grown, could have possibly been one of my guardians. {Ain’t that some ish?]
By the grace of God, it never came to that, but the years of avoiding any contact with him at family functions was terrifying to say the least. Somehow I had settled within myself that I would be able to keep myself from being a target by staying aware of every move he made while I was around. Making no room to be alone with him and dodging the obligatory creepy hugs were exhausting, but the only way I knew to maintain safety.
I never told my parents. To be honest, I never remember thinking about telling them. The whole situation left me confused…tainted in a way. As strange as it may sound, I can’t remember ever feeling hate towards him. I think it was due to my age, that emotion was foreign to me at the time. He went to his grave never admitting any of the incidents, so needless to say an apology wasn’t uttered either. So be it.
Kelly made me feel safe sharing this with you, fam. May you never have a day when you feel no one understands…you’re NEVER alone or the only one. Much love!
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