Life Lessons from the Headlines

Unless you've been on a news fast lately, undoubtedly, you've heard about tragic murder-suicide involving Steve McNair and his "girlfriend". I hadn't planned to write about this, but I started reminiscing about my life at 20. There are a few specific things I remember about that phase of life....

~ I thought I knew it all
~ My feelings were easily hurt
~ Saying/doing mean things was my preferred method of retaliation
~ I hadn’t learned how to deal with pressure and disappointment well...other than getting angry
~ Any disappointment or mistakes I made created a feeling of my world plunging to an end

Fast forward a few years *wink* and I realize that my behavior and reactions were the product of an insecure young woman trying to figure out life. Little did I know at the time that it’s really an ongoing process. Not quite mature enough to heed my mother's "girl, just live long enough" warnings that screamed "chil', you ain't seen nothing yet, so stop the nonsense!” Her gentle prods were out of love and concern, but had to be planted for later reference...like now :-).

I can't say I wouldn't have found myself in a situation like the one that led to this tragedy, but I do know the 20-year-old CG wouldn't haven't handled the broken promises well. Would I have resorted to ending two lives and tormenting an innocent family? I'd like to think not, but you never know.

I've learned more about life intricacies since my early exploratory 20s and am able to maneuver through most situations without breaking a sweat. Even though I’m still a work in process, there are a few realities I’ve learned along the way that all women should know....

~ NO man in his right mind will divorce if you’re the readily available side piece...plain and simple. Throw in a lucrative career with all the trimmings of fame and fortune, and you may as well accept the “relationship” for what it is…. adultery, philandering, an affair…plain ol’ cheating.

~ Gifts, no matter how expensive or seemingly long-term, should not be considered as down payment on a trip to the altar. This is nothing more than a pacifier, a way to keep you connected to him somehow. The minute he decides to call it quits…you may find yourself checking the #9 bus schedule daily.

~ He met your family….yeah, and….nothing more than a pacifier also. He has nothing to lose by meeting your folks, he’s already lying to his own family so why put too much emphasis on this.

~ You will remain the side piece until one of three things happens 1) his wife finds out and decides she'd rather take half and the house, 2) he gets bored and finds another wifey or 3) you wise up and move on.

~ Participating in infidelity is bound to pay you back in a special way. It may not happen immediately, but I'm willing to bet somewhere along the line you'll experience the same hurt and embarrassment inflicted on his wife. A little taste of your own medicine...

Sure there are exceptions to all of these statements, but let's be real....if anything goes down, the side piece is on the losing end.

These are just a few things that came to mind. I realize this can also happen in reverse…women just tend to be a little sneakier with theirs…lol

Talk to me...