I've taken a sincere deep interest in very few. After a couple near-misses I realized the cons in doing so can lead to insightful disappointment.
Perhaps some would simply call it a life lesson.
Meaning the risk in attempting to peel back layers of years of emotional debris is one you can't prepare for. So your intention of diving in must be as pure as humanly possible.
Each fragile vessel is different...
Some are rusted from neglect of body, mind and spirit.
Some tattered and torn from trying to hold it together during the good and bad.
Some have been twisted into a shape brought on by years of secret pain.
One could argue this is more so a result of deep-seated distrust, yet I tend to think there's a higher degree of insecurity swirling around. Coloring the esteem with an outward appearance of confidence that screams "See me! I'm worthy...right?"
The "danger" in loving, or merely caring about, this person is the thin line that any words uttered, actions taken...or not...can lead to misunderstanding. But, the kicker is, it's NEVER their fault. And, depending on where they are in life, you may bear the brunt of loves past, present and future. Yes, all wrapped in a twisted heap with hope of a breakthrough that's never wise to bet on.
You shouldn't have cared about them in the first place.
You shouldn't have assumed anything, because if they don't acknowledge it, it didn't happen and you're the bad guy.
You should process your emotions like they do...based on the "threat level." While you both know the only real threat is feeling something other than lust. A connection, kismet, friendship, more or less may be enough to send the vulnerability task force into full action. Defending every possible breach of their heart, mind or soul.
You should've known their pain was private, yet their innermost yearning is to have someone....only one....to find relief in. Not an empty physical relief. Not a superficial tug and pull that never reaches a depth of meaningfulness.
The one who understands, appreciates, respects and nurtures an individual's soul. The one who's calling is to listen, empathize and be mindfully present in the midst of a tornado of self-doubt, complacency and going through the motions.
At the heart of all this, when an exit seems more wise than staying put, there's always an occasional wave of perfection that whispers "be patient".
#30DayBlogChallenge - Day 26 - Your Hidden Talent
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