Notes to a Love: How Things Appear

Those who know you wonder why. Puzzled that I'd allow you to live in my mind for free. That's not only untrue, but opinions are irrelevant. It was a comfy nook in my heart you took up residence in -- intentional or not -- I wanted and welcomed you there.

Surely, they understand how your charisma wins over others. What they don't know, and is nearly impossible to explain, is how you won me over. I'll admit that the first time we met I was totally caught off guard. Disarming me is not always easy, so I was stunned to feel a kismet. Oddly feeling that we'd met before yet total strangers in a physical sense. Maybe so much time had passed since I last felt the freedom to be the feminine, sensual being I am. Your presence blankets me in safety, comfort and genuineness. I needed that relief, but hadn't expected to immediately love you like I did.
 
On the flip side, most don't know the man I know. The one who's easily hurt. The one whose outward appearance screams success, confidence and fortitude. Yet, this same man self-identifies as a "difficult" person to deal with. Others have no idea we have a great deal in common outside of the obvious. You see, I'm a maze-making saboteur also. An agile runner from the emotions that pour over me like rich, hot caramel mixing with ice cream. I slip to the side, hoping you'll crave enough to be spoon fed instead of devouring without experiencing the sweet decadence of possibility. And, by the time you think you're ready to push away the last portion...there I am...the perfect last taste.



Word Play: If Only....When and Where It Fits


Source: Grammarly

This got me thinking about how such a seemingly simple word
- only -
can vividly describe various forms of a personal connection.


It's placement, and more importantly, intent emphasizes or minimizes the importance.

~*~*~*~*~*~

She told him that she only loved him...

 She told him that she loved him only...

She only told him that she loved him...

Only she told him that she loved him...


Love...Light...Go...

So miss him. 

Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. 

You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll be really alone, and you’re scared to death of what will happen if you’re really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. 

And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using that boy to block that door. 

Let it go. 

Eat, Pray, Love ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Is There Shame In My Game?



 Your lack of readiness is an illusion communicated by shame-ridden parts of you that will forever have you believing that you have to take a few more steps until your real life begins. It’s an illusion of epic proportions. Get to it, brilliant being. There is no need to procrastinate the gateway to wholeness—it stands before you with your name on it. The world is ready for what you have to offer. No time like the presence.


As much as I try to convince myself that I'm fully ready to accept another into my life, the truth is there's some residue dating back years that could interfere. Allowing it to hold me back from fullness of life and love doesn't make sense. The days are fleeting, it's now or never.

Can YOU Spare Some Change?




Molly Mccord 

embers

can you find relief in my bosom? 
reality in my wisdom? 
place aside pointless power struggles?
we were destined for dissuasion

no preordained honeymoon 
void of fireworks and passionate dreams 
a Renaissance of sorts 
you'll find me amongst a sea of the unloved 

drawn in as bees to the sweetest perfumed blossoms 
carefully timed yet empty lullabies 
disillusioned by stone cold hearts 
why is the toll always so high?

firm stances at the drawbridge 
painstaking lifting to reveal all we were meant to be 
hell on earth when brilliant light conquers the dark 
sacrificing love for the comfort of emotional abandon 

trusting in evolution of a magnetism designed to disarm insecurity 
allowing one's eternally soul-filled awareness to 
...slowly burn away


© 2014 MCG

It's Ok To Want To Be Loved! ~ Troy Spry




"So many people believe that wanting love and wanting to love someone is a sign of weakness. It seems the "tougher" people get the weaker they really are."

 ~ Troy Spry

Truly Understanding

I asked if our connection has dimmed. You said never. While I want to believe that, it washed away when your next statement made it crystal clear that I don't take priority over anything in your life. So, while my mind responded "I definitely understand...", what my heart really understands is that...

~ I can't pay for or fix how you've been wronged by others
~ It's easy to be "cyber friends" but even easier to move on
~ The lures that got me are the same that repulse me now
~ A well-crafted reason is nothing more than an excuse
~ You presumed I was an average chick, receptive to a few sweet nothings and willing to give you part of me in return for a meaningless illusion of attraction
~ Perhaps you don't want to be loved
~ Maybe you're afraid someone will genuinely care for you
~ It's not my job to convince you of my authenticity
~ No matter how closely you seemed to align with the soulmate God has for me, maybe it was just a taste of what to anticipate - simply not the real deal 

It hurts to accept it, but releasing you from my heart has to be part of my growth experience.

It hurts like hell, but I simply deserve better.